Candidly Christian

Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith.

Jessica Schneider

4 Things To Do When You Know That You Are Not Enough

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I am not enough.

That is the truth that has been sinking in lately. I sat in the office with only half the amount of paperwork that I was supposed to have with me. My printer had run out of ink that morning (I could have gone to buy ink but then my daughter wouldn’t have had a nap… and that wasn’t an option), I forgot an important document, and I brought my passport because I lost my driver’s license.

Awww, it’s hard isn’t it?

That is what the lady in the office said to me. Further confirming that I felt. I was not enough.

I Was Struggling

That was the same morning I was trying to write an email but had to revise it five times. No matter how hard I tried, the truth kept hitting over and over. There is never enough of me to go around, and there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. I don’t have time for this or that. I am not pretty enough, or well-spoken enough. And sometimes my faith isn’t enough because it is shadowed by my fear.

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5 Truths to Remember When Facing Accusation and Shame

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I have a confession.  It is a confession of sin. And it isn’t the worst one, it is pretty little, but still sin.

The other day I was trying to save time, and I took a left out of a parking lot when there was a clear sign that said “No Left Turn.” I didn’t get caught, but I definitely wasn’t following the law. Even though I didn’t get caught, I still shouldn’t have done it. But it seemed like a good idea, and I needed to get where I was going.

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The Ways I Want My Life To Look, And The Truth Of The Gospel

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This past weekend, my husband and I went on a one-night marriage retreat. There was a lot of material that was covered, but there was one lesson that stuck out to me.

About if our marriages are an advertisement of the Gospel.

Hmmmm… how many times do I want our marriage, well my life in general, to look good? But that isn’t the truth, and my marriage looking good isn’t the Gospel. My life looking good isn’t the Gospel.

And in what ways do I want my life to look good? Well, let me tell you.

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3 Things You Find In The Waiting

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I am not good at waiting. I will never pray for patience, because when you ask for that, it is almost like begging for waiting, because you need patience when you… wait. I don’t mind traffic, I usually don’t mind lines at the grocery store. But the waiting I am talking about, is waiting on God.

Sometimes waiting for God can feel like waiting for rain in a drought. It can feel useless and disappointing.

Waiting can feel like the wilderness and deserts. Who is with me here!?

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The One Reason We Should Just Have Faith

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Just believe. Just have faith.

Has anyone ever said that to you?

I know pastors who have spoken against those phrases saying that they are not helpful. And I get it, I want the answers too. When God speaks, I want to know the what, where, when, how, and why. And you know what? Sometimes He actually gives me the answers, sometimes He gives me glimpses of the why. There are times when He will tell me what steps to take, and which path to follow.

But sometimes He encourages me to step out of the boat in faith alone.

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Choosing Thankful & Praising God

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It was the perfect day. Cool, but the sun was shining. My son was home from school to watch our driveway get paved. He loves trucks, so this was going to be a special treat for him. My dad was there to experience this piece of heaven with him, but after pretending to be a construction worker for a few minutes he quickly lost interest and wanted to play with me. But he wanted me to himself. And so did my daughter. I had both children vying for my full attention, and not settling for anything less.

What I needed was to clone myself so each child could have one of me. But that is not an option. I couldn’t give anymore than what I was giving, it wasn’t enough, and no one was happy.

“No, play with me…” says my son who wanted me to go on the seesaw with him, as my daughter is at my feet reaching up and crying so I could hold her.

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4 Things to Remember When Facing Disappointment

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There are some faces I’ll never forget. And as God would have it, there was a face from Rwanda I would never forget.

It was eight years ago, and we were waiting to go have lunch at the missionary compound by Kibagora Hospital. We had a little time, so our team decided to do some silly songs with the children. One of the children became attached to me. She couldn’t have been older than 3 at the time, and after only a short few minutes she wouldn’t leave my side and needed to be holding my hand.

At one point she laid on my lap and asked me if she could bring me home with her. I cried as the translator pried her out of my arms because she was holding on to me so tightly. As I walked away I knew I couldn’t look back because my heart would have just broke worse than it already was doing.

I had thought of her often, and a picture of her and I was my profile picture on Facebook for quite a while.

When I knew I was returning to Rwanda I didn’t even think to pray to see her again. She was young when I met her, and we were going to a place an hour and a half away from where I had met her… five hours if she were to walk. We had about 50 children, from a district that has 1000’s, and she wouldn’t be of age to come to camp.

I would never forget her face though, enough to recognize her when she grew up, and when God would lead me back to Rwanda and have her be assigned to my small group at camp. She was sitting two seats away from me.

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4 Truths To Reflect On When Facing Fear

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I am just wondering how much God will allow before we break.

​That is probably going to go down in the book titled “Things I Should Have Never Said”. That quote will go alongside other dangerous things that I have said or thought like, What else can go wrong?, I want Jesus over comfort, and How much more can I handle?.

And I am sure that a bunch of other things that you have said are coming to mind right now.

I am currently sitting on a balcony looking over the city of Kigali, Rwanda. The two weeks leading up to the mission trip we are currently on were trying.

Grace and Truth

The things that we thought would be a hinderance were not, but everything else was. Hard conversations with no answers, children getting hurt causing us to pray that nothing would happen while we are gone, and then the icing on the cake was when our son Charlie’s dresser fell on him the day before we left. He didn’t get hurt because the dresser drawers caught the weight of the dresser, but I will tell you it was scary to see my son holding a drawer of the dresser that could have crushed him.

The questions What else can go wrong?, and how far will He push us before we break? were at the forefront of my mind.

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