Over a year ago, I left my job because the Lord told me to, and I have been wandering in the wilderness with God ever since. When this season began, I was beyond thrilled. It was exciting to take such a large leap of faith. I loved experiencing new facets of who God is. I was overjoyed at how my intimacy with God grew and grew.
But it’s been over a year now, and the situation around me doesn’t look good.
Honestly, things look pretty bad right about now. And the novelty of taking a leap of faith wore off many months ago. I hear God’s promises whispered to me, but they’re so different than the reality around me. It turns out that walking by faith and not by sight is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Right now, I’m squarely in the un-fun part of trusting God.
In the past month, I have been battling fear, doubt, disappointment, and more. Hourly, I resist the temptation to retake control of my life and do things my own way. I have to constantly re-yield myself to God once again. I feel weary, tired, and weak. Some days, it feels like my faith is hanging on by a thread. And quite honestly, I’m sick of having to live by faith. I’m tired of having to live on hope. I really would love to live by sight for a bit.
As I feel weaker and weaker in the waiting, I’ve been wrestling with Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV). Here’s what it says:
“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
I have been waiting on God for what feels like an eternity, and I feel more tired, worn-out, and weary than I did when I started this season. I’ve been asking God why I don’t feel strengthened. Why do I feel so weak when all I’ve been doing is waiting on you? Why am I not experiencing this promise in Isaiah?
The Lord so kindly reminded me that feeling weak is actually part of the strengthening process. My faith feels weak because it’s being strengthened—it’s having to bear a greater weight than ever before.Feeling weak is actually part of the strengthening process… Click To Tweet
I think it’s a little like how you feel when you first start working out. When you run that first mile, you feel weak and weary, but what you feel in the moment isn’t the full picture. You’re getting stronger and your endurance is growing.
Or if you start lifting weights, you might feel really weak as more weight is applied but, over time, you realize you were actually getting stronger.
At the gym, you might feel weak, exhausted, and want to give up for a while. But just because you feel weak doesn’t mean that you are. That’s part of the strengthening process.
Can You Relate?
My guess is that many of us feel weary, weak, and worn-out right now. And that’s okay.
If you feel like your faith is hanging by a thread, I want you to know that you are not alone. God is with you, and there are many others who feel the same way. If that’s you, I pray you don’t give up. Keep searching for the Lord and wrestling with His Word. You can push through the resistance you feel because you have grown in this season. Your faith has increased. Your spiritual muscles have gained strength—even if it doesn’t feel like it.