For the past few months, the Lord has been speaking to me about submission—everyone’s favorite word. I am a pretty stubborn and strong-willed person. If I want something, I’m going to make it happen. I have a determination and drive in me that is, sometimes, unstoppable. It’s no wonder why the Lord has been speaking to me about the topic of submission.
My prayer of late has been, “Lord, I submit (surrender, embrace, etc.) to your will, your way, on your timetable.” Some days, that’s been all I can pray, and I just repeat it over and over again. I have decided to daily lay down my hopes, my dreams, and my plans to pick up His. And it’s been hard. I have many good ideas that I would like to accomplish on my terms, but I have felt this call to lay all of that down.
While this might sound like a nice process, it’s been challenging.
Most of the time, it’s felt like breaking. Shattering my dreams and my definition of success. Scrapping my plans and goals. Ditching the image I had constructed of myself and picking up God’s lenses instead.
It’s been really hard, but it’s also been healing and freeing.
I think many of us feel at least a little broken right now, whether by the Lord, life circumstances, our decisions, or other people. I feel like many of us are feeling a little fragile. We’re maybe a little more tender than usual. Things are a little raw. And we need to be handled with a bit of extra care.
I’m grateful that the Bible was written by many different people who were willing to be brutally honest about what was happening and how they were feeling.What to do with your broken, shattered dreams… Click To Tweet
Psalm 51 was written by King David in one of his darkest moments. He had slept with Bathsheba (who was married to someone else), had her husband killed, and then married her. The Lord was not pleased with this and sent the prophet, Nathan, to confront David (see 2 Samuel 11-12 for more). Psalm 51 is his response to God’s word that was spoken through the prophet.
Broken Bones Rejoice
The other day, as I read this Psalm, one of the verses jumped off the page. I felt as though it was written just for me.
Let me hear joy and gladness;Psalm 51:8
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
I feel like one of those broken bones right now. I also know that my rejoicing from this place of brokenness is different than anything I’ve experienced before.
Before this breaking process, I praised God from a place of knowledge, or duty, or responsibility. I rejoiced in God because of my circumstances. While it was as deep as I could muster at the time, it was shallow and surface level.
But now, when I praise God, it’s from the depths of my being. It comes from the core of who I am and radiates out. It’s like a fountain bubbling out of me. Because I have a greater understanding of my own frailty and my utter need for God, I can’t help but rejoice. My praise for Him is no longer superficial or performative but is born out of my brokenness. And that’s a beautiful thing.
You Are Not Alone
Brokenness and the breaking process will always be painful, and if you’re in that space right now, I am sorry. I know that you’re hurting, and we are praying for you—you are not alone, my friend. But I want to remind you that in your brokenness, God is near. He is with you. You might not be able to rejoice today, but you will. And when you do, the depth of praise that erupts from you will be magnificent.In your brokenness, God is near. He is with you. You might not be able to rejoice today, but you will. And when you do, the depth of praise that erupts from you will be magnificent. Click To Tweet
As an atheist transformed by the Word of God, Mariel Davenport knows the power of seeking God through His Word. She is passionate about equipping others to tend their soul by the Word as well. She does this through her TEND method, a simple process of engaging with God through the Scriptures.
She shares her method through online Tend Gatherings, Scripture journals and speaking engagements. Having been featured in places like CBN.com, Proverbs 31 ministries, Not My Story, Brave Woman Series and The Love Offering Series; Mariel has reached ladies of all ages and denominations with the joy of knowing God through His Word for themselves. She co-leads the membership community, Knowing God Through His Word, which encourages others to read through the Bible. She is co-author of Tapestry of Grace and Knowing God through the Word Scripture Journal.
Mariel is a wife to her man of nearly 25 years and a retired homeschool mama turned writer, who enjoys salsa from her garden as she pursues the Gardener who tends her soul. Tend your soul with her bi-monthly newsletter, Tending Tools, and get updates and announcements about upcoming TEND Gatherings by signing up at marieldavenport.com/tending/