• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Candidly Christian

Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith.

  • Blog
    • Most Recent
    • The Gospel
    • Faith
    • Prayer
    • Self Worth
    • Anxiety
    • Chronic Pain
    • Marriage
    • Parenting
  • Resources
    • Candid Books
    • Free Resources
    • Recommended Resources
    • Resources For Christian Bloggers
      • Blog Post Checklist
      • Christian Link-Ups
  • Scriptures to Live By
    • Bible Verses for When the Struggle is Real
      • Bible Verses for When You Feel Worthless
      • Scriptures for When Your Heart is Hurting
      • A Scripture To Trust God When You’re Afraid
      • Scriptures for When You Feel Inadequate
      • 3 Scriptures to Find Balance in an Unbalanced World
      • 5 Bible Verses for When You Feel Alone
      • 6 Bible Verses to Read When You Feel Anxious
      • 5 Life Gives You Lemons Verses
    • Scriptures for When You Need Help
      • Scriptures to Help You Overcome Self-Pity
      • Bible Verses to Help You Memorize Scripture
      • 5 Bible Verses to Help You Sleep
    • Scriptures to Live By When You’re Living for Jesus
      • Bible Verses About Hope
      • Bible Verses About God’s Love
      • 5 Bible Verses on Patience
      • Scriptures for the New Year
  • Learn More
    • About Our Ministry
    • Meet The Candid Gals
    • Contact Us
    • Belief Statement
    • The Legal Stuff
  • Get Involved
    • Join Our Prayer Team
    • Join Us For A Candid Anthology
    • Be Our Guest
    • Become a Candid Gal
    • Contact Us
  • Why Jesus?
  • Show Search
Hide Search
Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Candid Guest · May 8, 2019 · 1 Comment

Note: The opinions and references mentioned in “Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places” are the authors and do not necessarily represent that of the Candidly Christian ministry or other contributors.

Written by Elo Claire Odogbo

I struggled with approval addiction for a long time. I guess it comes with the territory of being the last born. You are typically the baby of the family and showered with attention.  However, growing up surrounded by people who love you has its challenges when you go out into the world, and you find that your charm doesn’t work as readily as it once did.

I remember having a conversation with a young lady who was burnt in this area. She had this beautiful relationship with people who were the “popular ones” – you know, those ones who have this ability to attract people like ants to sugar.

She was devastated, however, when these relationships turned sour. As this happened in a church community, she felt unloved, somewhat rejected and abandoned. It was apparent while speaking to her that she was so fixated on having certain people as her friends that she was missing out on the opportunities that God was sending her way to both love and be loved.

Have you ever felt rejected or abandoned? Do you crave the approval of others? If so, you're not alone… Click To Tweet

Looking For Love

In my own life, I have found myself repeatedly in that situation where I crave the approval of a group of people and ignore the many who love me and will always have my back. I have been gravely disappointed when certain people wouldn’t respond to me in a way I desired or attend my events.

A beautiful scripture God showed me that helped jolt me out of my approval addiction is Galatians 1:10. It says “if I am seeking the approval of men, I am no longer the servant of God.” I first saw this Scripture come alive when listening to a teaching by Joyce Meyer. I spent a full minute whooping after hearing it. But it broke something on the inside of me. I realized that I valued, and still value, being God’s servant more than the approval of people. As a result, the need for someone to pat me on the back and say “well-done” has reduced dramatically and has died a little more with each passing day.

Dolphins & Whales

The seeds for that breakthrough was sown many years ago when my friend Helette Botha preached a beautiful message about learning to love ourselves and being comfortable in our own skins. She used an illustration of Dolphins and Wales. According to her, everyone loves Dolphins. They attract people without trying. However, some of us feel more like Whales- but beautiful in God’s eyes no doubt. Whales aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but they have their own beauty and play an essential role in helping keep the underwater ecosystem in balance.

We don't have to be looking for love in all the wrong places... #GiveMeJesus

Related Post: 6 Bible Verses About God’s Love

In the same way, we don’t have to be Dolphins to be valuable. How boring it will be if all the sea creatures were Dolphins! God created diversity for that reason. Each species brings something to the table. In the same way, we all bring something to the table. God has uniquely put us together, and we are blessing someone just by being alive. Everyone may not like us or consider us their cup of tea, as painful as that realization is. We need to let it sink in. Not everyone will like us, no matter how nice, kind and giving we are.

In God’s Eyes

So, should we keep chasing those who aren’t naturally drawn to us and keep craving their friendship? I believe God has better for us. He wants us to accept ourselves for who we are.

Knowing we are healthy and beautiful, just the way we are. We don’t have to keep praying to be “Dolphins” and trying to be one so that people will love us. We instead can ask God to heal those deep places where we need people’s approval to love ourselves. Alternatively, we can receive His love for us and see ourselves through His eyes of love.

When we truly start to love ourselves, our eyes are open to see those people who are drawn to us. Who we are sent to. Our tribe!

We Don’t Have To Be Looking For Love…

We no longer crave attention and affection from specific types of people. We realize that we may not be their kind of people, and that’s okay. But it doesn’t make us less of who we are. It releases us into that which we have been created for. For we were made for such a time as this.

Remember that even though He was the Son of God and walking perfection, Jesus wasn’t necessarily liked by everyone. If this happened to Him, why do we expect differently?

I pray that God will bring freedom to your heart as you read this and that we all will walk in increasing levels of His grace whenever we meet people who don’t like us. That instead of feeling less, we will take the opportunity to love them while keeping our dignity and love for ourselves intact.

Can You Relate?

Have you ever struggled with approval addiction? Join the conversation by sharing your thoughts or experiences in the comments below.

Elo Claire struggled with approval addiction, but she's sharing how God set her free in this post on Candidly Christian. Click To Tweet

About The Author

Elo Claire Odogbo, Candid Guest

Elo Claire Odogbo is a Christian Career and Business and Coach. Holding a PhD in Economics, an, MBA, CPA and is a certified life breakthrough coach, Claire is passionate about helping people and organizations succeed. She and her husband are church planters who currently reside with their three daughters in Ontario, Canada.

Visit Elo Claire online at:
EquippedLiving.Wordpress.com


Recommended Christian Books on This Topic

                                            

Related Posts

  • 3 Key Questions You Need To Ask When Anxiety Strikes
  • He’s My Adonai
  • Growing Deeper When Things Get Rough
  • What Would I Do If I Wasn’t Afraid?
  • The God of All Comfort & Me

About Candid Guest

CandidlyChristian.com is powered by a group of bloggers known as the Candid Gals. Our mission is simple, to candidly share what real faith looks like in real life. Would you be interested in writing a guest post for us or joining our team?
Click here to find out how!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Valerie Riese says

    May 14, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Hello Elo Claire. Welcome to Candidly Christian! Guest blogging here is how I started in 2017. It’s been an incredible experience and I hope you love it.

    I wanted to let you now I shared this with a dear friend who is currently re-evaluating priorities and dealing with the very issue. She said your post was “spot on” and “excellent food for thought”. I hope it brightens your day to hear that your post helped someone today! 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Let's Get Candid

Let’s Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent Posts

  • Are You Suffering from Soul Dehydration?
  • Spirit Lead Me: 2 Simple Steps For Seeking The Holy Spirit
  • New Eyes & Excessive Worry
  • Jesus and the Woman at the Well
  • 3 Truths I’m Learning About Spiritual Warfare

Recent Videos

Weekly LinkUps

Salt and Light Grace and Truth

More Christian Link-Ups

Candid Conversations

Click here to find out more.

Our Most Popular Posts

  • 5 Verses to Help You Overcome Self-Pity
  • 5 Bible Verses for When You Feel Worthless
  • 3 Steps to Overcome Laziness
  • My (winning) Battle with Health Anxiety
  • Confessions of a Woman in Ministry

Support Our Ministry

Christian Books
Prayer Team
Visit Heather's Etsy Shop
Support Candidly Christian
Please note that CandidlyChristian.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program.
Click here to find out more

Who’s Behind The Scenes?

Heather Hart
Candidly Christian was founded by Heather Hart; an internationally best-selling and award-winning author with a passion for the gospel of Jesus and a heart for women’s ministry. Her goal isn’t to teach women how they can do better, be better, or achieve perfection, it’s to point them to Jesus.

Click here to learn more about Heather Hart and the rest of the Candid Gals.

Posts by Author

Heather Hart
Jaime Hampton
Mariel Davenport
Sarah J Callen
Sheila Schweiger-Rhodes
Sherry Chamblee
Stephanie M. Carter
Valerie Riese
See Your Name Here
Candid Guests

Our Favorite Planner

The Hope Planner
Affiliate Link

Candidly Christian Has Been Featured On…

Grace and Truth Link-Up Christian Blogger Directory

Top Christian Women Blog

© 2016–2022 | Privacy | Home

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie SettingsAccept
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT