Learning to See the Awe in My Life
I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop, during my lunch break, asking the Holy Spirit what I should write about. And, honestly, I have no idea.
I’ve been going and going and going and haven’t had the time to think much about writing or anything else. My life has devolved into an unhealthy cycle of many hours of work, few hours of sleep, and time for next to nothing else. When I entered this season that was exactly what I didn’t want to happen, and yet, I find myself back in this workaholic place again. I’ve neglected myself and isolated myself from other relationships because “I’m fine” and “I’m handling things”.
So, as I sit here, I’m wondering what the Lord wants to speak. What only a few weeks ago felt so normal and natural, sitting down to write a blog post about the Lord, faith, or my life, now feels weird and forced. I don’t know what to write about. I’m not entirely sure what the Lord is wanting to convey to me first and then to you reading this. I’m at a loss.
Then I look around.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”8b8U3″ via=”no” ]When was the last time you just sat and waited for God to speak?[/ctt]
Life In The Coffee Shop
There’s a row of women to my right working studiously on their laptops. I see their mostly emptied cups—they’ve been here for hours. I recognize the two women at the far end: they’re here every day around this time. I wonder what they’re doing, creating, or studying for.
A family is sitting just ahead of me, the mom and dad both glued to their phones, barely saying a word to each other. Their son fidgets on the chair, pushes around his cup, plays with the toy he had dropped on the floor earlier.
A man is sitting in front of me who looks like he’s had a rough night and just stumbled out of bed. He’s wearing an assaulting amount of cologne, and I have so many questions for him, namely, what are you working on? And why are you wearing so much cologne?
Men and women have come in and out of here to retrieve their afternoon pick me up to keep them going through that afternoon lull. They hustle inside, some of them chatting with the baristas, others on a mission and not caring enough to make small talk.
As I look around, I’m in awe of God.
What A Mighty God We Serve
He created each of these people. He knew their appearance, personalities, dreams, and desires, and made each one for a purpose.
He loves each one of them. Even when they feel unloved, are unloveable, try to hide away, or cling to a coping mechanism like a crutch, his love for them never ends.
He is kindly drawing each one to himself. No matter where they’re at in life, what they’ve gone through, or what they’re going to, he desires a relationship with them.
“That’s how I feel about you.”
Yeah, okay, God. But what about them? Let’s focus on them. They’re so much more interesting.
“I created you. I love you. And I desire a relationship with you. And that’s not ever going to change.”
When My Awe Starts To Flicker…
The truth is that I don’t have it all figured out. I’m a hot mess 98% of the time and am continually questioning. More than that, I easily neglect myself in favor of almost everything else. I will wear my lack of self-care as a badge of honor when, in reality, I’m unintentionally harming myself. It’s not that I think badly of myself, I just don’t think about myself very often, so I neglect me. I don’t think of me as the one who God created and delights in. I forget that I am the one who God loves deeply and passionately. I don’t think of my body, mind, heart, and soul as things worth caring for. And that’s wrong.
Right now, I’m learning to flex my ‘no,’ except that certain things won’t get done and that’s okay, and to lean on others for help when I need. Each of these practical steps stem from the root of understanding that God feels as strongly about me as he does for any of the other people sitting in this coffee shop, working in my building, or attending my church. And, because God loves me, I can take the time to care for myself in little and big ways.
What About You?
What is God currently teaching you?
What is one practical thing you can do to care for yourself this week?
[ctt template=”2″ link=”j5feI” via=”no” ]Sarah is learning to see the awe in her life, what’s God teaching you?[/ctt]
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I am also one to let my self-care wane. I’m trying to improve, but honestly, I think God wants me to focus more on diving into His word. I don’t know where or how to start. My prayer time and Bible reading is very minimal and feels stale. I just plain don’t want to get up earlier than my toddlers because I’m tired, and trying to do it at night is a joke. I need to get with it, though, because spiritual growth isn’t going to happen by spontaneous combustion. I need know I need to put forth some effort, then God will meet me there.
Thanks for the post! It was a reminder to get on track. He loves me and wants to talk to me.
That’s amazing awareness! I know that I tend to think that I need to set up a formal appointment with the Lord, carving out 30, 40, 60 minutes with him in order for it to “count”, but that’s just not the case. I whole-heartedly believe that he delights in the little moments that I steal away with him in between meetings or driving from one location to another. He does love you so much and he celebrates in the moments that you do spend with him!
I love how you are in awe about each person you saw, our uniqueness and God’s love for each one of us. God has been teaching me recently about trusting His still, quiet voice rather than trusting our emotion or our logic. He speaks from our spirit because that’s where He resides.
I’m learning to trust his voice too! It’s such a beautiful learning process, isn’t it? Daily I’m having to learn to trust his Spirit because most of the time it defies my logical brain that I want to follow. We sure do serve a great God!
When I go to coffee shops, I usually wind up in a long faith conversation with a random stranger. Our God is a Funny One, isn’t He? 😉
That’s so fun! Every day sure is an adventure with the Lord… who knows who or what He will lead us to!
God is always teaching us something… if only I would be still enough to listen. Thanks for this reminder.
You’re so welcome! Glad you were encouraged!
God is teaching me to spend more time with him. He intimately knows me, but need to know him more.
God did have something potent for you to say after all!
I am looking at grace which is the word God keeps impressing upon me.
Practically… I believe is giving grace not just to others but to my short comings.
Often we neglect that all important grace in caring for ourselves! 😉
You’re most welcome to drop by for a cuppa,