Beyond the Bitterness
She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.”
Ruth 1:20
In case you are not familiar with the verse above, allow me to explain the context.
The speaker’s name is Naomi. Her story is from the Old Testament. She just returned to her hometown of Bethlehem to greetings from old friends, but for Naomi the reality of her return was overwhelming.
Naomi left Bethlehem many years prior. How many years she was away, we don’t know, but it was indeed another lifetime. Naomi left with her husband and two grown sons. She returned as a childless widow, accompanied only by her young, widowed daughter-in-law.
Naomi’s harsh response to her friends sounds so crass. We can only imagine the painful and alienating effect it had on her friends and family. And yet, coming from a woman facing a destitute future after losing everyone she loved most, who can blame her?
Bitterness Happens
I don’t—at least not anymore. Like Naomi, I face an uncertain future without the one I loved most in this world. As I write I am less than three days from divorce after 22 years of marriage. My 50th birthday is just around the corner. I haven’t been able to write for the last six months. As a working writer, that’s a big deal. Self-employment is always a risk, and the freelance life is notorious for cycles of feast and famine.
So am I bitter?
Sometimes.
And I don’t think anyone would blame me. In fact, I bet you’ve been there. too. Maybe your first awareness this morning was the immobilizing weight of a crushing loss. Maybe you woke up to a reality so unexpected and unwelcome that you don’t know where, when, or who you are. Or maybe your first unspoken words this morning were, “Why, Lord, why?”
I can assure you that you are not alone, even if no one was there to comfort you. And therein lies the difference between the Old Testament Mara and us. Mara didn’t know the sweet name of Jesus.
Related Post: 5 Ways to Avoid Becoming a Mara When Life is Hard
Hope Makes a Difference
I recently watched an Amazon Prime series about Bass Reeves, an African American who lived in the 1800s. He was a freed slave who made his way north and became a deputy marshal. In one episode, Reeves and a fellow deputy, a callous, bitter white man came upon a horrific scene of mass murder in the open plains. Baas bowed his head to pray, much to the confusion of the other deputy. The white man’s scoffed, “You still believe in that God of yours even after spending most of your life in chains?”
With no hesitation Reeves met the hardness in the officer’s eyes with the testimony in his own. “God didn’t put me in these chains. Man did that. God gave me hope of a life without them.”
Hope—that’s what both Naomi and Bass’s colleague lacked. And that’s why they were bitter.
Do you lack hope? Share on XBible says we are all born into sin and that Satan is the prince of this world. The ruler of this world is evil, and our natural state is sinful. Therefore, just as we not surprised to get wet and cold in the rain, we should expect nothing less than the suffering our sin brings upon ourselves and inflicts upon others.
But God sent His only Son Jesus because He loves you too much to leave you to your own ruin. There will be a day when the King of the universe overthrows the prince of this world, but until then we can allow Jesus to rule our hearts and our lives.
It is only because of Jesus that we have any joy at all. Jesus is the hope in every bondage, the sweet in every bitter circumstance. Instead of bewilderment with the bitterness of life, I invite you to join me in a search for all of His sweet gifts, especially the gift of Himself.
Related Post: When Life is Hard, There’s Still Hope
Come to Jesus
We started with Naomi’s bitter homecoming. The name Naomi means pleasant. Like many of us, she forgot who she could aspire to be. Thanks to God, her story has a very pleasant ending, both in her lifetime and in the generations that follow her. Not only did she find happiness, but she would be known for eternity as a direct descendant of the Savior of the world. Her greatest hope, the sweetest and most pleasant part of her story, culminates with Jesus Himself.
The same is true for you and me. Because of God’s great mercy, our story also ends with Jesus, except we don’t have to wait for future generations to meet Him. He gave his life so His sweet love, hope, and joy can be both the beginning and the end of every story, every day.
If you are feeling bitter today, it’s okay. You are not alone. However, just as Deputy Reeves fled north from slavery, God commands us to look up the bondage of bitterness and run to Jesus.
I’ve spent many days this past year stuck in bed, wrapped up in sorrow and anger. But then I remember, God’s Word is healing, and the Word is God. So, I turn on an audio Bible and allow the One who made me to revive me. In time, and through prayer, I begin to see beyond the bitterness where I can focus on a sliver of hope. I follow its warmth all the way to freedom, all the way to Jesus.
Related Post: The Bible is Better Than a Teddy Bear
Are you struggling to see anything pleasant in your life today? If it’s too hard to see through the tears, ask Jesus to cry with you. I promise you; He already is. I encourage you to allow Jesus to collect enough of your tears so you can find freedom in Him. Cling to His hope and love every day until there’s no room for anything else, and then every day after.
First, let me say I understand the bitterness of divorce. The hurt at first is unbearable. It will get better. I had a lot of church support and family support.
I never thought of asking Jesus to cry with me. Sometimes I have asked Him to hold me. Just when I think things are getting better something else goes wrong. I do admit that I bring a lot of it on myself by listening to the worldly views around me (the father of lies). I don’t need to be attacked by those who say that they love me and say they believe but don’t read, or do anything else. I am trying to be a good Christian woman but feel bitter because I make mistakes and get called a hypocrite because I am Christian. I am supposed to be perfect. How can one stop the hurtful comments?
I think Satan loves it when Christians eat their own. When those who are supposed to love like Jesus become judgmental and hurtful. I can’t tell you how to stop the hurtful comments. That involves changing others and all we can do is live out our own walk with Jesus. But I can tell you that it’s not hypocritical to have a relationship with Jesus. Jesus came because we are all sinners in need of a Savior. He doesn’t roll His eyes at us when we make a mistake. He loves us through it. Our sins and failures are covered by His blood and we can rest in His grace. Regardless of what others say, we can know that God’s love for us is unchangeable.