Overcoming Loneliness

Loneliness. Even hearing the word is hard. It’s just not a very nice word. It doesn’t make you
feel good when you hear it. It doesn’t feel good experiencing it. I wanted to talk about this
because, frankly, it’s not talked about very much.

Personally, I think loneliness is an epidemic. I think it’s running through the lives of countless
people, and they don’t know what to do about it. A lot of people are hiding and suffering in
silence from the loneliness they feel.

We all know what loneliness is but overcoming it is another matter. People hide their loneliness
because some don’t want to be a burden on others. Then some just give in and live a life of
loneliness in silence.

One of the first things I want you to understand is that loneliness is painful. It is painful to the mind, spirit and to the body. It physically hurts. But in a way that most can’t describe.

I wanted to talk about this because I suffer, even now, from great loneliness, painful loneliness
a times. I want to try to give someone help from this crippling condition. Believe, me when I
say it is crippling but nothing that our Lord can’t handle in our lives.

I had never experience loneliness until I was divorced. I think I felt it some after my mother
passed away but nothing like being divorced. I felt deeply lonely and hurt and it was hard to
move physically. It actually felt like I was always moving in slow motion.

I actually spent year in depression and loneliness fighting it every day to live and be whole
again. My mind at that time was riddle with thoughts of inadequacy, fear and failure. It felt that
I was all alone with my thoughts and all alone in my situation. These feelings were unbearable
most days and all the time they were a LIE but felt very real.

Loneliness tends to creep up on people. It’s not easy for a lot of people for a lot of reasons and
then for others they tend to deal with it better. Not because they just willed to be better, but
because they had other keys in place to overcome loneliness in their lives.

I want to give you some keys. These keys are not the only ones that will help you as a list to
fight loneliness is long and personal to each person.

Keys to Overcoming Loneliness

When you are alone think about what you are feeling.

Loneliness does not have to overcome you or your thoughts. Feel the loneliness in the moments and then try to feel something else. Try to think something else. Every negative thought seems more heightened in the moment of loneliness. You CAN overcome it. I know it may feel like you can’t but try.

Have people in place to help you.

This one may be hard, but it is doable. Find someone that you trust to be a friend and accountability partner. Ask this person to pull you from the dark place of loneliness when you go there. Ask them to help you remember the good times and to possibly do things with you. Ask them to help.

Try to make and build new healthy relationships.

Relationship is everything in the life of someone that is suffering from loneliness. Look for people that you trust and can build on.

Remember there is hope.

Loneliness can make you feel hopeless, useless, and desperate. Try to remember the hope of Christ in you and that you are not alone. Loneliness makes you feel that you are the only one and that things will never be better. Don’t believe the lie.

Talk.

Talk about your feelings. Don’t stay closed off in your emotions. Share what you feel with an emotionally safe person. Share your heart with others in a safe way and be honest about what you feel.

Don’t compare yourself to others.

When you are lonely you are vulnerable. Almost anything but you looks good. Watch the comparison game.

Self-care.

Take care of yourself. Take care of your own life in any way that you can. Self-care can take you a long way. Taking time for yourself is very healing and very necessary.

In all hopes, the loneliness will fade. Maybe not as quick as you or I would like but it will. Take
courage and strengthen yourself in the Lord. Focus your eyes on Him in this night season. He
will not leave you nor forsake you and remember you are not alone.