When God Shows Up – And It’s Not What I Wanted!
Sometimes we are seeking God with everything we have because we need Him to do something for us. Then He shows up, and brings relief. Other times, we are happily doing our own thing… and He shows up. We don’t like being inconvenienced.
My Story
I was born and raised in Venezuela, under a secular feminist household with a list of very proud single moms behind me, although some due to widowhood and not by choice. I also always had a loving, supportive Dad for weekend fishing trips and camping. The expectations set of me were the same any woman in the world would dream for her daughter; to grow up, finish my education, and become the top in my field. My parents believed I was smart enough to do anything.
By God’s grace alone I got saved at 15 years of age and developed a relationship with Christ where He guided me with a firm presence into adulthood. This threw a monkey wrench in all my mother expected of me.
As a young college student, the Holy Spirit clearly guided me into only paying my way through college with scholarships and grants. Then I got married very young and moved away with my husband. Although the plan was for me to finish my degree we got pregnant so early in the marriage, and so frequently, that I pushed college aside to work and make ends meet.
Fast forward eight years and we have lived in Alaska for a while. All my children are in elementary school. I’m finally going back to college long-distance, working full-time, and we are plugging along as an average American family.
Yet deep inside, I felt a little empty. That guiding presence of God that had profoundly marked my teenage years was missing, and that made the Lord into more of an Emergency Responder than a friend. I confess I was quite used to God showing up when I cried out for help to undo whatever mess I made.
I did not expect that I would be at a Women’s Retreat, in tears, when He would show up first and uninvited!
She looked normal on the outside, but inside she felt empty. Have you ever been there? Click To TweetGod’s Calling
“I want you to stay home with your children and homeschool them.”
That hit me like a punch to the gut and only made me cry harder! It was not what I wanted to hear. In fact, it was so distinctly different from everything I ever knew that such a thought could’ve only come from God! But before I protested…
“If you want to serve Me, you need to start with what you’ve neglected – your first and most important ministry, which is to your husband and your children.”
Yikes!
And while I was flooded with conviction, repentance, and grace, this verse came to mind:
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:10-12 (NIV)
The Truth of It All
I saw a God that did not value me based on my productivity, my job title, my degree or my income. And suddenly, the heavy chains of all those expectations I was raised with started to fall off my shoulders.
It would be awesome to say I immediately quit my job and pulled my kids from school, but that would be a lie (and not a very good thing to do on a Blog titled “Candidly Christian”, now would it?). But I leave all of you godly women who are wrestling with this decision in prayer with a loving warning:
The longer I took to align my heart and my actions with His, the more my life fell apart! Everything: From the kids at school, the job, the college classes, even my health! Until broken and on my knees nine months later I said, “I’m done doing things my way, God. I’m ready to do Your will.”
Now I love this stay-at-home-mom life! Not necessarily because the circumstances are perfect, but because His peace is perfectly with us through every situation. I wouldn’t trade this for all the money in the world.
I understand that not every woman is called to be a stay-at-home wife, or even homeschooling. Regardless, Jesus has a plan and a purpose for you, and it’s not just to save you from hell (although that’s great!). Just like He needed me to minister to my children in a way no one else could, you have a roll in His Kingdom that no one else can fill!
What is God calling you to do? Is there anything holding you back from taking that leap of putting faith to action? I would be honored to encourage you and pray with you.
When God Shows Up (& you didn't ask Him to interfere) Click To TweetMaria Hass
Maria Hass was born and raised in Venezuela until communism forced a migration to South Florida, where she married her high school sweet-heart. After more than a decade of a happy marriage, they have three children, two dogs, and a bunny. A job opportunity led them all the way to Alaska in 2009, and by faith they braved the 6000 miles and four time zones away from everything they’ve ever known. In 2013, Maria’s life changed drastically again, which started a confessions-based blog about homeschooling, health, and a real faith-based life – all within the backdrop of Alaska living.
“I’m the image of imperfection. But it’s still worth your read: You’ll discover that for every area where I fall short, God’s grace provides! He always shows up and works things out in spite my failures.”
Maria’s mission is to use humor and sincerity to encourage other moms towards the grace and mercies of Jesus Christ, and to not to be so hard on themselves through this journey. You can find her online by visiting https://mariahass.blog
I have had God show up multiple times and throw a wrench in my plans. I know His way is always best, but I’m pretty anti-change, which always leaves me kicking against the goads. Thanks for sharing your story with us and reminding us that we don’t need to be hindered by expectations. That is so freeing.
Thanks Heather! I’m reminded of that cartoon of the “footprints poem” where it says, “that one set of footprints is where I carried you… and that groove over there is where I had to drag you, kicking and screaming!” I have learned to resist less and less. Honored to share!
He shows up when we need him most to guide, protect and bring us back to where we need to be
Yes He never leaves us hanging! Thanks Terri.
If we would just let go and trust God with the outcome……
Always. He’s very trustworthy.
Thanks for sharing so candidly, Maria. It is so important that we listen to what God wants us to do for Him – and He often uses our husbands in directing us clearly. Praise Him.
Thank you Amy! And I admit I learned to listen to my husband and submit to him much later in our marriage. Now he is more of my leader than back then, but I suppose better late than never. God is so good!
Thank you for sharing your story of life, faith, and family – of his grace and your obedience. {I’m visiting from #GraceandTruth today.}
Thanks Karlene!
Thanks for sharing your story. It can be hard to lay down our plans and go with God’s, but there is definitely peace in surrendering to his will. Around a year ago God asked me to be part of a new church plant in my area. It was something I had lots of reservations about and had almost decided against, but his call to be part of it was so clear that I had to. A year on, I am so glad and I can see that it has blessed me in ways I’d never have imagined. Visiting from Grace & Truth.
Thanks Leslie! It’s true – we can’t imagine the blessings God has in store for us if we walk in obedience with Him!
Thank you for sharing, Maria! It’s a struggle, too, not getting discouraged and second guessing the plan you feel He has for you. There have been so many times in my life where I feel like I was in the place He wanted me to be and I quickly learned that life happens in seasons and those seasons may only last a short time. Not all of us have been called for one specific purpose. But like mama always says, “If you feel at peace in your heart, you’re probably going in the right direction.” 🙂
Yes I believe, like your mama, that He leads us with peace! I don’t second guess too much any more.
Maria, thank you so much for that story. I both love and dread those curve balls God throws us. I guess I dread them at first and then love what God does through them. I’ve had a few in my life as well, including a move 4 1/2 years ago to Alaska! Thank you for the reminders that when we don’t obey a call from God, no matter how illogical it seems to our human wisdom, we will miss out on the gifts he has for us. I love this testimony and was blessed by you today!
I also love that our blogs have the same WordPress theme 🙂
Moving to Alaska requires A LOT of faith! Lol thank you for reading, Jamie! And yes, we can truly miss out on some amazing things He has for us when we don’t submit.
It can be so difficult and inconvenient to follow the Holy Spirit’s calling. Thanks for being honest about how long it took you to do it….sometimes I jump on in and other times I’m hesitant. Trusting initially makes all the difference.
Well in a perfect world we are all ready and obedient to the call. In the real world, sometimes we get a little lost inside our own heads. Thanks for stopping by Kristi!
❤️
Thanks Diane! I wouldn’t have made it without the mom tribe I found once I met all of you <3
I was there several years ago! Same story…at a retreat, and the big loud voice of “I love you and it’s going to be ok” While it’s taken a while for life to fall into line, I have to admit, He has been there every single step of the way. I keep trusting we will find our way. But it’s hard to listen sometimes. 🙂
He is faithful Robbie! We just need to submit to Him! Thank you!
Absolutely great article and read over and over. Thank you.
Thanks Stephanie! I pray it encourages you over and over.
Love your testimony, Maria. God is so good and so very patient with us, but He is all about bringing us to that point of obedience where we are completely His. I struggle with this too and I am now a Grandma and my homeschool years are behind me. He is always working with great love and patience. Thanks for sharing.
It goes in seasons doesn’t it? We don’t ever “graduate” in obedience to the Lord until we’re in heaven. Thanks Amy!
I love this.! I love that you know God has called you to stay home with your kids. It’s funny because so many people look down on that as it not being a calling but being lazy or something. I’ve already graduated college and pursuing some pretty cool careers in my single days, however in my heart of hearts I know that one day God has called me to stay home with my family and serve His kingdom in ways that don’t necessarily meet the eye. Sometimes I think it’s the things we do behind the scenes that one sees but Jesus that brings Him much joy! Keep going because your kids will remember this one day!
Thank you Erin! And you are right – staying home to raise your kids IS a calling! Not an indication of laziness.
First, thanks for featuring Maria. She is so down-to-earth honest. I have wrestled with my calling for years. God has made it clear ( I think), so I am stepping out in faith. This post is encouraging and convicting? I’d appreciate your prayers!!
I love you too Sheila! I’ll keep you in prayers so you have the courage to step out in faith any time God asks. It’s always a scary time when we feel God’s calling in our lives and it doesn’t line up with our picture perfect ideas.
I find that God’s most powerful interactions are those that I wasn’t asking for and wasnt expecting. Maybe it’s when we are caught off guard that His voice seems so profound. Thank Goodness that He is always with us when we ‘feel’ Him and even when we dont!
Maria,
I had not read this until today. I so relate. I, too, came from a strong line of women. They expected things of me that were not possible after I met Jesus. Never thought I’d be home schooling. I did finish my degree, but thought I’d be working , not staying home. My decision to stay home and home school was not popular in my family. I had an education; I needed to work; and I did not need to depend on a man to support me. I was obedient (kicking and screaming a bit), but I have been blessed in more ways than I can count. It has not been easy, and it’s still not. But I know this is what God has for me.