Why You Need to Break Free for the Sake of Your Marriage
Every time I open my phone, I go on social media and see photos of happy couples, happy kids, and sweet memories being shared. It’s very sweet, but almost overwhelming. There are so many people that look like they have it all together when it comes to their social media profiles. Their marriage looks perfect, their kids look perfect, and they always seem to be so happy and nothing bad ever seems to happen to them.
Sometimes it can get discouraging to see all of this when you are going through a rough patch in your life or marriage. It’s easy to become envious and feel like your life isn’t as great as theirs. You start wishing you that you had what they have, and end up being unsatisfied with all the many blessings that God has given you.
Friends, that’s dangerous! The comparison game is not a good game to play. If you are struggling with this, I’d like to give you some encouragement today.
Why You Should Stop Comparing
It steals your happiness. Comparing your life, marriage or situation to another person is like comparing two sunsets. No two are the same! Even still, they are all beautiful! Their uniqueness is what makes them special. It’s the same when it comes to your marriage. No matter how many struggles, difficulties, and problems you are experiencing right now, your marriage is still beautiful and worth loving and investing in.
Take a hard look at your life. Examine all the things that you have and are thankful for. Do you have a roof over your head? Food to eat? A God that loves you? A spouse and family that loves you? Even if your marriage isn’t exactly where it needs to be, you can still thank God for marriage. Learn from your mistakes and take this opportunity to grow.
The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It
I’m sure you’ve heard that more than once. It’s true, though! If you would take as much time investing in your marriage as you do envying others, your marriage would blossom into something you never could have imagined.
Take the time to nurture your marriage and it will grow. Communicate with your spouse and pursue them constantly. Encourage them and lift them up in word and deed. Be in prayer for your spouse/marriage. Get into God’s word and let Him guide you! I can guarantee if you take time out to invest in your marriage, you will get so much in return.
God Has A Special Plan Designed Just For You & Your Spouse
God has joined the two of you together. That wasn’t a coincidence! That means He has something special for you and your spouse to carry out. He has a special plan for your life and your marriage that only you can fulfill. Don’t spend time looking at other people’s callings and what God has planned for them to do. Focus on what you were made to do. Don’t compare callings.
God loves us and wants what is best for us. Your marriage can impact so many people and you can carry out God’s special plan if you are willing. So, love your life and the people in it. There is a reason God placed you where you are.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”B7FEw” via=”yes” ]There is a reason God placed you where you are – don’t let the dreaded comparison trap sabotage it.[/ctt]
My Comparison Trap Story
I have been caught in the trap of comparing myself to others for a long time. Not necessarily in my marriage, but in how I view myself as a person. Most days, I look at all the other wives (and women in general) around me, and think “Why can’t I be as put-together as they are? Their life looks perfect and the way they seem to view themselves is perfect.” But God keeps pushing me to look a little deeper. He keeps showing me that sometimes things aren’t as perfect as they appear and that I shouldn’t compare my life to another person’s.
I was made by the God who thinks I am special in every way, so why shouldn’t I see myself that way too? He made me for a specific purpose, and only I can do the job He has for me. It has been a journey learning how to change my view of myself, but every single day God lavishes His love on me and makes me stronger. He freed me from that comparison trap! Some days are better than others, but I am still learning to cherish who I am and not compare myself to others. God has poured so many blessings on me and my life, and I am so, so thankful for His everlasting faithfulness and love.
How Have You Seen God Move In Your Marriage?
Have you struggled with the dreaded comparison trap? Or do you have any tips for overcoming and becoming one with your spouse? We would love to hear from you in the comments below!
If you want to invest in your marriage and learning how to truly become one with your husband, I have the perfect resource for you. I just released my new eBook “Becoming One: A 30-Day Devotional for Wives.” It is designed to help wives grow closer to their husbands while also growing closer to God.
Madison is a follower of Jesus, wife to Steven, and mommy to her fur baby, Bentley. She strives to encourage and equip wives to grow closer to God and their husbands on a daily basis. She loves to spend time in the Word of God, go on dates with her husband, whip up treats in the kitchen and travel the world when she can. In all that she does, she strives to please God most of all.
What an important reminder. Sometimes I forget that the comparison trap doesn’t just hurt me, but those around me. Thanks for sharing this with us today, Madison, and congratulations on your new book!
You are so right! Thanks so much for having me as a guest poster, Heather!
“I gotta be me, I gotta be me” – stop comparing ourselves to other people!
Yes! Amen! Thanks for reading!
It is so easy to get into this trap, Madison. All around us the world is full of messages that say we are not enough. But our true value and worth comes from God alone. It is His love and His plan that give us our reason to keep going. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Yes, Amy, that is so true! God is my number one reason to keep going and His love is enough! Thanks for reading!
I try not to compare my marriage to anyone else’s, knowing that all marriages go through rough spots, and you don’t know what is really going on in the marriages around you. If you nurture your own marriage, you can make it the best that it can be!
Yes! It is all about what you nuture and feed. If you take care of your marriage, it will prosper! Thanks for reading Susan!
I struggle with this on a daily basis, thanks for sharing this, i needed to hear it
So glad this encouraged you! Thanks for reading!
Every marriage is different. Ours is great for us. We have been married 15 years this summer. Times are not always easy, but relying on each other makes everything better.
That is so sweet Tara! Yes, relying on each other is so important and every marriage is different! Thanks for reading!
Madison, I have honestly never heard the saying “the grass is always greener where you water it.” I love that!! Complaining about dry grass never helped anyone. I will be getting your devotional, thank you so much for your words and for your heart to see marriages thrive. In my own marriage I have struggled with the comparison trap. I recently heard a quote that said if a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has. I think the same goes for marriage- if you want a better marriage, you only need to pray for and like you said, cultivate, the one you have 🙂 Blessings to you and your ministry!
You are so right Jaime! Our marriages need constant nurture and “watering”. Whatever we feed and put love into will grow into something better than we could ever imagine! I hope you love my devotional, and thank you so much for reading! ❤
During the difficult times, I’m reminded that the devil will do whatever he can to destroy our marriage because if we stay together then God will be glorified and our once difficulties will be used to encourage others to persevere too. Christ can redeem all situations. Satan just likes to destroy. I won’t give him the satisfaction of comparing our personal trials with others.
YES! Amen! Resist the devil and fight for your marriage. God can do so many things through your relationship! Thank you so much for reading!