It started out like any other day…
I hit the snooze button multiple times, then finally drug myself out of bed. I visited with my husband who had already been awake for over an hour, taken kids to cross country practice, made coffee, and who knows what else, and then went to wake up the kids who were still asleep and start my morning routine.
Somewhere between coffee and taking the kids to school was when it happened…
I was trying to fix my son’s shoe. His insole kept sliding around, so I was using superglue to hold it in place. I asked my 13-year-old son to hold the bottle while I slid the insole back into the shoe.
That sounded safe enough. But apparently I forgot to factor in the fact that it was a Monday. Or that my son, who I love dearly, is somehow related to both Ferdinand the bull and Clumsy Smurf. He is the sweetest, clumsiest, most awkward and loving 13-year-old boy you will ever meet. Any who…
That’s When It Happened…
My eye started burning.
I knew instantly what had happened, I just didn’t know how.
There was superglue in my eye.
Trying to remain calm, I held it open as long as I could so it didn’t get glued shut.
I should pause here and explain… I was born with a rare type of cancer. Retinoblastoma. It causes tumors to grow on the retina of your eye and I had lost my right eye when I was roughly a year old.
Which means I only have one eye.
And it had superglue in it.
My eye burned and everything was fuzzy, but (in true mom fashion) I finished fixing the shoes, and then called my mother-in-law to see if she was free to take my kids to school.
Once that was taken care of, I went to the bathroom to flush my eye with water.
Long story short, other than being inconvenient and painful, everything turned out just fine; there was no permanent damage.
Have you ever got stuck on the "what ifs"? Click To TweetI know I should be overwhelmingly thankful, but my heart got stuck on what could have happened.
The “What If’s”
What if that superglue would have caused me to lose my sight? What if I would have been blind for the rest of my life?
I’m not prepared for that.
I say that I trust in God, but do I really?
Am I ready to give up blogging, writing, driving, cooking, and everything else “normal” in my life?
The honest answer is no. I’m not.
I am not ready for that.
I know that God would get me through it if that were to become my reality, but when faced with the possibility, it scared me more than anything else ever has.
It shook me clear to my core, and the what if’s left my head spinning.
Trust In God Or Let Satan Win?
For someone who has complete trust in God, I sure didn’t feel like my feet were on solid ground at that very moment.
Satan had a foothold and I had a choice.
Did I want to let Satan keep that foothold? Did I want to let him win this battle?
Of course that would be silly. Worrying about something that wasn’t even happening. Making myself sick over a situation that wasn’t real… who does that? I mean… you know, besides me?
I had to decide if I was going to let Satan win or if I was going to trust in God.
When I thought about it like that, it sounded so simple, of course I was going to trust in Jesus.
I always trusted in Jesus.
He is my life.
I just got distracted… Satan is good at that, isn’t he?
But when I stopped to think about it, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if I were to really go blind that day, or any day, God would carry me through.
Yes, my life would change forever. Probably in ways I can’t even imagine. But God has never let me down and He would get me through. He would get my whole family through whatever came our way.
God is Always Good
No matter what life throws my way, I know that God is always good. And He is always on my side, because Jesus is mine and I am His.
I can say that with complete confidence.
I might have been shaken, but even when we get knocked down by life, Jesus is always right there ready to help us get back up again.
It kind of reminds me of when Peter walked on water. He took his eyes of Jesus and started to sink. He got scared, but as soon as he refocused on Jesus and cried out for help, Jesus steadied him. And He did the same for me.
God is so good.
Have You Ever Been Shaken?
What about you? Has your faith ever been shaken, or have you ever taken your eyes off Jesus and had to take a moment to refocus?
Join the conversation in the comments below.
No matter what life throws my way, I know that God is always good & He is always on my side, because Jesus is mine & I am His. Click To TweetBooks for Related Reading
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The prospect of losing my vision is exactly the fear that I succomed to for several years. I couldn’t agree more- it is only by trusting in Jesus that I overcome, even on days when working is a struggle simply because I can’t see. He is absolutely the ONLY way to peace. Any other method is marginal and fleeting at best
It’s a terrifying thought to be sure, but it’s something we don’t need to dwell on, because we can trust that God knows our future and is holding it safely in His hands.
I am sorry to hear about your having Retinoblastoma and losing the sight in one eye as a young child. That must have been hard on you and your parents. Life is definitely a mixed bag, eh? But like you said, we need to trust in God and know that in the long run, He certainly does work things out for our good. (Romans 8:28).
Glad to know your eye is wide open – no super glue could keep it closed Yay God! And yay God for teaching you something through it all. That is His way.
I was so little, I honestly don’t remember it. For as long as I remember, this is just the way I’ve been. I’m sure it was hard on my mom though. In fact, I know it was, because my son had it, too. So thankful for Jesus.
Beautifully told! We all do this. You detailed so well the thought processes that we take to end up in that place where we’re what iffing. We get stuck in the imaginary. I’m glad you so quickly won the battle by not letting Satan get a foothold. And I’m glad you’re alright and that your eye is fine!
I think you’re right, we all do this from time to time. It’s good to know we aren’t alone. And thanks, Melinda!
I think many Christians have this moment where Satan distracts them momentarily. But when you think about it like you did and remember that God has never left you or let you down, it’s easy to trust in Him.
I think you’re right. So thankful Jesus never lets us go.
I read most of that post with my mouth hanging open. I won’t complain about my Mondays for quite a while. Good points, I love how, even though you were shaken, you still came back to the point of Jesus being all-in-all for you. Thank you for this example. I am working through my own ‘what if’. Thank you for encouraging me to press in to what I know to be true. Even if our what-ifs come true, God is still God. He will sustain.
Yes! I cling to that truth so often. It’s something solid when the rest of the world seems topsy-turvy.
I can not imagine getting super glue in my eye. I think I would have panicked. But I agree, my trust in God is solid until everything feels like it might mean I would lose everything. I wish I could answer differently but I think I would doubt. Over time, as I adjusted to my new situation and trust God again. Scary
I agree, Yvonne. We think we are solid ground, right up until the unexpected shakes us. But God never leaves us, and is always there ready to steady us. So thankful for Him.
This is such an encouraging post. I can definitely relate to the notion of getting caught up in “what if’s.” That is why the assurance of God’s provision no matter what is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing your story. (I’m glad you didn’t have any lasting repercussions from the glue though. Ouch.)
Thanks, Chloe!
Hey Heather,
Wow, didn’t know that about your eye and thankful along with you that the glue didn’t cause any damage. And , yes, I get stuck on the “what-ifs” sometimes. The Lord is teaching me to fully trust in Him because I’m not in control anyway. So while my mind still wants to think about negative things that might happen, I know that God is in control no matter what happens. Blessings!
Thanks, Karen. And yes, our flesh is always so tempted to run wild with the what-ifs, but deep down we know we can trust in God.
Wow Heather – very scary the thought of losing sight.
Yes there have been time when my own life has been rocked and I’ve been cut to the core. I have ask myself, and God, why? why me? Why now? How does this help anything or anyone?
Then I remember many have it harder than me – that Jesus had it harder than me on that cross and I have prayed for a life that can only be explained by God…
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for stopping in, Bob.
“What-if’s” really kill me. I tend to really overthink many situations in my life instead of just trusting that God is good and that He has my best interests in mind. As I focus on that fact, that He loves me and is watching out for and protecting me, my anxiety over stressful situations decreases.
Isn’t that so true? But the “what-if’s” are always are default response.
I can understand your fear! I can imagine what you lived through was horrifying. I’m so thankful it worked out.
I was encouraged by your confidence that you do trust in Jesus, but sometimes you get distracted. This is so true. I can certainly relate. Distraction does not mean abandon.
“Distraction does not mean abandon.” Yes and amen!
Wow, Heather, what a story! And it’s so true that we all play the ‘what if’ game. And playing that game shows a lack of trust in God. Thanks for great reminders to always trust that He is loving and working for our good. God bless!
Thanks for stopping in, Nancy.
Wow, what a story and how scary is the thought of losing your sight.
I can so relate to your main point of becoming “stuck in the what ifs”.
Thank you for the reminder that “No matter what life throws my way, I know that God is always good.”
God is always good!!
Yes! That’s my favorite song. So much truth there.
Heather, what a powerful example of the “what ifs” we experience under stressful circumstances with scary and unknown outcomes. You are right, I repeatedly remind myself that God is good. When I can’t see that in the present moment, I repeat and repeat to myself Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. I cling to the truth of God’s word when the words that are running through my mind are running wild. But it is a battle for sure! Thank you for this real life example to help me to remember God’s goodness to the end. Bless you!
I love that the Bible is chock-full of reminders of God’s faithfulness.
Heather –
Oh my goodness what an event. I am here trying to keep my eyes from blinking as if the glue dropped in mine. First, I am so thankful your eye was okay. That had to have been so scary. I love the way you shared your story with such honesty and trust. You are a gifted writer.
I don’t usually go to the what if’s but I do get stuck for a few minutes in the, “I can’t believe you would allow this God” phase. Which then turns to, “Haven’t we been through enough.” Followed by “Okay God I don’t understand, but I will choose to trust you.” It sure would be easier to start with trust.
Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Christian Link-Up.
Heather – I chose your post to feature this week on Grace & Truth Link-Up.
Thank you so much, Maree!!
It’s crazy that we always tend to go through the same line of questions, even though we know we will always end up back at Jesus. Thankfully, He is always waiting for us with arms open wide.
Oh my gosh. What a scary, real-life, “can you do it?” moment! Whoah!
I know, so thankful for Jesus.
Wow, I can easily understand how natural it would be to stay stuck in the “what ifs” in a moment like that! So thankful that your eye is healthy and all is well. Praising God for your call to us to simply trust in Him.
Thanks, Laura!