3 Steps to Take When You’ve Lost Hope in God
I have recently heard not one, but two stories of young Christian women whose cries for help weren’t answered by God in the face of unspeakable suffering.
One was the victim of murder, her killer testifying that she cried out to God for help during her last tortured hours on earth.
The second was a young woman who endured almost a year of abuse from a pastor, and she describes praying repeatedly for God to deliver her from her abuser. When he was finally transferred to another church, he was sent off with great fanfare to a church where he would receive a promotion and increase in salary, while she was left with lifelong scars and shamed by those she had confided in about the abuse.
Do These Stories Cause Us To Lose Hope?
As I read each story, I found myself pausing and puzzling and asking the infinitely powerful God why He wouldn’t reach down and have mercy on these sweet, innocent Daughters of the King?
Why is it that we hear some stories about miraculous interventions, or seeming angelic protection over God’s beloved, and yet there remain far more stories like those of these two victims of heinous crimes?
Related Post: What To Do With The Things That Make You Ask “Why God?”
Spoiler: God didn’t give me any answers.
The short answer is, as humans, we have no idea why God wouldn’t smite these evil men immediately, or at the very least provide an immediate way out for these young Christian women.
3 Steps to Take When You’ve Lost Hope in God
My plan isn’t to try and do theological gymnastics to figure out something that is utterly unknowable, or to make excuses for God. My hope is that through being honest with my own disappointment, confusion and frustration, I can share some scriptures that have given me hope, and some steps I’ve taken to avoid losing my faith altogether when faced with tremendous suffering in a fallen world.
Step #1.) Admit what you don’t know.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
This passage from Isaiah doesn’t just say that God knows a lot more than we do; the comparison is as high as the heavens are from the earth. I like to imagine trying to explain the Internet to an ant as my analogy for the gap between God’s understanding and ours. But that gap is only a few degrees of difference. God’s wisdom is infinitely greater than our own, and I have to believe that in eternity, we will look back and marvel at the care, love, and intricacy of God’s plans, even if from our perspective now it can appear that He doesn’t hear or doesn’t care or won’t help. I find that by acknowledging what I don’t know – and may never understand until eternity – it frees me to let go and pursue the things I do know about God.
In the past, I’ve tried to use the “Maybe God allowed this to happen so that _________,” which can feel good for smaller things like why you didn’t get that parking space you prayed for, or why you got that bad toothache the first day of your week-long vacation. But for abuse? Murder? Torture? Children with terminal illness? These things don’t fit so tidily into the “Maybe…so that…” model. At least not for anyone with a heart.
And I’m here to tell you that’s okay. In fact, letting go of the need to understand is necessary for anyone who wants to retain a faith in God while living in a fallen world. Because at some point, we all get to the end of our ability for tidy explanations tied up with a bow. God does not need us to make excuses for Him. He doesn’t need us to try to find reasons for every single thing that is allowed to happen here on earth. For me, recognizing this truth has been so freeing. Not always easy (see step 2), but necessary to move forward in my faith.
Step #2.) Take your outrage to God.
How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.”
Habakkuk 1:1-3
I’ve come to realize that God can take our anger and outrage at the evil in this world, and even toward Him for allowing it. The danger is turning away from God in our anger, not beating our spiritual fists against Him. So as you let go of the need to explain away the evil in the world, don’t be afraid to take the residual heaviness and pain to the Lord. Whether it’s simply sitting in His presence, silently holding your tears and feelings up to Him, writing a letter to God expressing your feelings and thoughts and questions in great detail, or finding a quiet place to yell and cry and pound your fists heavenward in frustration and anger, he can take it.
Please don’t let Satan drive a wedge between you and God because you think you have to work through your feelings before you’re ready to pray. Let God in to help you process those feelings, even if you need to involve outside help like a pastor or Christian counselor. It’s the only way.
Step #3.) Declare what you do know.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34: 17-18
God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.
2 Thessalonians 1:6-7
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
Romans 8:28-29
These are just a few of the verses that have helped me through some of my recent struggles with understanding suffering in the world. By declaring what we do know to be true:
- that God is good, the giver of good gifts, that He is just, and always at work even when His work seems invisible, we are fighting a spiritual battle.
- Satan seeks to steal, kill and destroy. He is our true enemy, not God. And he gains strength and power the further we stray from truth.
By claiming these Biblical truths about God – even when we’re too angry to really believe them and internalize them – we are waging war and gaining ground, and I promise, at some point your heart will start to believe what your mouth is confessing.
Related Post: When Answered Prayers Fall Apart
What Do You Do When You’ve Lost Hope or Find It Hanging On By A Thread?
How about you? Are you in a time of wondering if God is there? Angry that He would allow the suffering you see around you to persist? If so, please know you are not alone. We would love to pray for you.
Let us know how we can pray for you, or which of these steps resonated with you the most, in the comments.
Have You Heard About This?
She Prays Like A Girl
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What a timely post! Thank you for making this so practical!
Your words remind me that faith is not about having all the answers, but about holding on to God even when the questions remain. In the raw places where hope feels thin, honesty before Him can itself be an act of worship. Thank you for writing with such courage — it strengthens others to bring their own pain into His presence.
Excellent!
I need God at all times and have trusted him in all my days. Currently have faith in him that he will show up on my dark days