When Our Adult Children No Longer Believe

I will share a secret with all of you.  I hide my adult children’s posts on social media.  Sometimes it is easier to pretend and live in ignorant bliss.  It’s hard to read some of their posts that shout out to the world, “I’m not a Christian.”

I have told them how to quench their thirst, fill the emptiness, and nourish their negative emotions, yet they continue the quest on their own. It takes all the strength I have not to hit them upside the head with my Bible. It’s a hardcover, so it would have quite the impact.

I spent years taking my children to church, not only on Sunday, but on Wednesday for Awana and youth group. Paid for every summer camp and mission trip. I prayed with them, read Bible stories with them, answered their questions as best as I could, and cried tears of joy when they were baptized.

But what does a mom do now when adult children no longer believe?

When Adult Children No Longer Believe

I have three grown sons.  They were all raised in the church and all baptized. 

• I have no doubt my youngest son has a personal relationship with Jesus. 
• My oldest, I consider lukewarm.   He believes, but there is no outside evidence that he knows Jesus. 
• And then there is my middle son.  He is the one out of ninety-nine.  He is hiding and doesn’t want to be found by the shepherd. 

My heart echoes 2 Peter 3:9 on repeat.  My head tells me the day is coming like a thief in the night. 

So, what is a mom to do when adult children no longer believe? 

How do we continually pray for their salvation without seeing any evidence of God’s work in their lives? 

Furthermore, how do we keep praying when it feels like they are falling further and further into the world’s grasp? 

Related Post: When Your Child No Longer Believes in God

The 3 Most Important Things To Do When Your Adult Children No Longer Believe

2 Peter 3:9 assures us God does not want anyone to perish, yet Peter also tells us in verse 10 that the day of the Lord will come like a thief.  It feels like time is running short.  I feel like Jochebed watching baby Moses floating among the reeds in a papyrus basket.  Watching, waiting, scared he would fall prey to the alligators. Would the Lord answer her plea?  Would the basket keep baby Moses safe? 

My sons might not be floating down the Nile in a papyrus basket, but the alligators are out there lurking and waiting.  What should a mom do to keep the alligators away?

1.) Pray

Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Luke 18:1

Do not give up praying for your children for lack of answers.  We may not see what God is doing, but He is working out your child’s testimony.  And we want our children to have a testimony, not just a story.  Prayer is our most powerful weapon.  Just like the widow in Jesus’ parable, we are to pray and never give up.  

2.) Wait

Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14 

The word wait appears 154 times in the KJV version of the Bible, which is the most accurate count.  It is not a word many of us like.  There is no other alternative.  If we are going to pray like the widow in Jesus’ parable and never give up, we must also wait for the Lord’s answer.  While we are waiting, are we expected to do anything?  Yes, set the example.  Although we are talking about adult children, they are still watching. ….but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.  1 Timothy 4:12 

3.) Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust is hard.  As a mom, we want to fix our children’s lives.  We must not forget whom we are trusting with our children’s lives. After all, he created them and loves them far more than we could ever imagine.  We can’t lean on our understanding.  Only our all-knowing, all-powerful God understands.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all of your worried, scared, and anxious mama’s heart.   

God Knows

As our adult children are out in the world searching and seeking ways to fulfill the empty, lonely places of their heart, pray like the widow, wait for the Lord while setting a strong example, and trust in the Lord with all of your heart.  The Lord understands. 

The day might come when our children realize all the searching and seeking was unnecessary.  They will find that what they were searching for all along was right there in the heart of a praying mom.  A mom who prayed, waited, and trusted;  a mom with a heart filled with the love of Jesus.  

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