What does the Bible say about people-pleasing

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18 Comments

  1. I absolutely love this post. I believe one of the enemy’s strongest and most dangerous tactics is to wear us out doing the ‘right thing.’ So often we think that in order to be pleasing to God, we can’t say no. Surely God would say yes? Yet the truth is that our Father wants us to spend TIME with Him. If we only have time for busyness, our relationship with Him suffers the most. It’s a win for Satan. No time with God equals an empty shell of an existence. Spending time soaking in the Presence of the Lord is the only place safety, security and true freedom comes. Our healing is found in our time with the Father. Our Truth is found in Him and with Him. Busyness robs us of all of it. The least selfish thing we can do is say no. It reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha.

    I love your Scripture references as well. What a beautiful reminder this post is. Thank you, sis! ♥

  2. The enemy will use whatever distraction he can to distance us from our Father, including “good” things, because, as you mentioned, good things still take us away from the “best” thing – which is to be at His feet. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Holly, and thanks so much for your heartfelt words. I kind of felt like standing up and applauding by the time I got to the end of your comments!

  3. Valerie, this was great. I’m a recovering people-pleaser. I kind of see it as the “thorn in my flesh” (one of several!) that keeps me coming back to God for help, wisdom and guidance on a regular basis! Thanks for the timely message, wise words and great scriptures, I’m going to reference them regularly!!?

  4. Great post Valerie!
    I had been pondering this subject to write about too! So God has a theme going 😉
    As women we do exhaust ourselves in helping others…we need to be wiser!
    Bless you,
    Jennifer

    1. Thank you, Jennifer! I hope you do write about this subject, as I’m sure your view or your words will impact someone differently than mine. If you do write it, I hope you will share it with me. I always enjoy your posts so much 🙂

  5. I totally feel like this is directed right at me. I cannot say no to my family, even when their toxic behavior affects my mental health. A lot of the reason I keep to myself is because I felt like too much was asked of me, unrealistically. I’m definitely going to delve more into these scriptures so I can find a healthy balance.

    1. I’m glad the post spoke to you, Jen. I pray that recognizing this and diving in Scripture will be the beginning of finding boundaries. I totally get how that’s even harder when it comes to family, so I hope taking your questions and uncertainties to Jesus in prayer in your heart and in journaling will help give you direction.

  6. This is such a gracious letter to help people set better boundaries for themselves and learn to say no. Every ‘no’ to one thing is a ‘yes’ to something else!

  7. Valerie – I loved this post. It is an area I do struggle with but have made great strides. However, it is so easy to fall back into it especially when the other person is hurting. I repeat to myself over and over again – Jesus didn’t heal everyone. I love your examples. I have shared your post. I am starting a series on “Letting Go,” and this will be one of the topics to address.

    1. Hi Maree, I’m glad this post spoke to you. It seems that a lot of women continue to struggle with this throughout their lives. It’s so hard to discern when to help vs when you’re just being taken advantage of or wearing yourself out. I’m glad these examples were a good reminder that even Jesus said no. And I can’t wait to see your series! I know it will be amazing! Thanks so much for stopping by and for commenting 🙂

  8. Great post, Valerie. I was hoping you would note Galatians 1:10. I memorized it years ago and refer to it often when I’m talking to others or need to remind my own heart. I love how you make the points, Jesus said no and He retreated to be alone with the Father.

  9. Unfortunately, people-pleasing is a thing amongst Christians especially women because many believe it makes them a “good” Christian, however, Jesus said NO, he set boundaries and he walked away.

    1. I love your post, Yvonne, as it ties in perfectly with mine. So many women get caught in toxic relationships trying to be a “good Christian”. It sounds like “When to Walk Away” by Gary Thomas is a perfect book for people pleasers to begin finding freedom.

  10. Valerie, I love how you point out that Jesus made people help themselves. The power to heal obviously came from him alone, but He gave them an opportunity to participate in the miracle. I’m like you in that I wouldn’t call myself a people pleaser either, but this is a wonderful post!

  11. Hi Lois, I’m so glad that you noticed something about Jesus from this post even though you wouldn’t call yourself a people pleaser. Yesterday our pastor talked about how Jesus loves us enough to let us be active, choosing participants in our relationship with Him instead of just exercising the authority to control everything like He could. It never ceases to amaze me to see how much He loves us. So glad you visited, Lois!

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