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Wait, Pray, Trust

Frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now. I’m so frustrated I don’t even know where to begin.

And that’s the problem.

I want to be mad and complain and maybe even cry a little. Life is hard. Someone dropped the ball and I’m the one suffering for it.

Literally.

I was suppose to start a new migraine treatment and my insurance approved it… Only someone dropped the ball and it never got ordered. Now the approval has expired and they have to start all over again. In the meantime, my head hurts so bad I just want to lay down and cry.

There’s nothing I can do to fix it or make the process go any faster. I just have to wait for it to get sorted.

Somewhere in the midst of all this, I realized I hadn’t prayed or even thought about God at all.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:8

I haven’t been trusting God. I haven’t poured out my heart to Him. I haven’t been seeking refuge in the shadow of His wings.

Instead, I’ve been pouting.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 12:12

I’ve been pouting, and I’ve been angry.

Worse, I’ve been looking for someone, anyone, who would be angry with me.

Someone to be as outraged as I am.

Someone to care that my head hurts and maybe the medicine would have helped if I would have got it already.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

1 Peter 5:6

In my temper tantrum I’ve failed to remember that God’s timing is perfect.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

So, I guess now the only thing to do is wait. Wait and pray and trust in Jesus.

2 Comments

  1. I’m so very sorry. As the mother of a daughter with chronic migraine (16 years), my heart hurts so much with and for you as I understand the frustration all too well. But I cannot imagine being the one in pain. You are smack dab in the middle of life’s lane where faith’s rubber meets the road. Praying for you. God’s still at the wheel. Hang on in these crazy left hand curves!

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