Self-Conscious: Scars & Social Norms
Brianna was self-conscious of her scars, but she’s learning to find her worth in Christ instead of social norms.
I have worn bangs since I was a toddler. I didn’t always wear bangs, they came after an accident that caused a scar down the center of my forehead. I hid behind bangs my entire life to cover up a scar.
When I was little, I fell over a carpet that wasn’t properly installed and hit a clothes rack, resulting in a large wound on my forehead. The wound healed, but it left a scar. For decades, that scar defined so much about me – the confidence I possessed, how I perceived myself, and my hairstyles.
I have only recently become brave enough to let my scar be visible. There are many scars across my body now. Some you can see while others are hidden under my clothes.
The self-conscious feeling I had when my scar showed made me feel inadequate, less than the other girls. I covered up the scar for years, wearing makeup at a young age so I didn’t have to see or hear the judgmental response to my scar. I wanted so much to feel and be pretty.
Little did I realize, I was already beautiful because I was created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). I was allowing social norms to define me. I grew up in the era of the airbrushed model. The models were small, and so were the clothing sizes.
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Speaking Truth
I was recently stopped by a high school classmate of my son’s, who wanted me to know how much she appreciated my kind comments on her social media posts. I thought about the comments I had made to her, the likes, and the hearts. I merely told her she was beautiful inside and out.
I began trying to recall whether or not anyone had ever told me I was pretty other than my family members.
As a kid, you feel like your family has to say nice things and tell you how pretty you are. Had I been told I was pretty despite the scars, maybe I would have been felt comfortable in my own skin.
Finding My Worth in All the Wrong Places
As I grew older, I allowed the wrong voices to tell me I was beautiful. I let guys tell me I was pretty, finding my worth in their words. Had others told me I was beautiful, would I have put as much worth on their words?
I have stopped allowing the approval of others to dictate how I perceive myself and stopped valuing myself based on their assessment. Instead, I found my approval and confidence in Christ.
David gives us a different perspective in Psalm 139:13-15, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb” (NLT).
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God wrote our lives before we were even born. Nothing we do surprises Him. Being knitted together in the womb, God knew that I would have a visible scar on my forehead. Christ had scars too (John 12:19-20). Just as Christ died on the cross for me, I had to die to my own sins. I had to stop letting other people’s accolades, opinions, and the value they placed on me matter. I had only one place where I found approval – in Christ.
A Work in Progress
I’m still working on being comfortable in my own skin, with the added scars and stretch marks. I truly am a beautiful work in progress.
Today I will part my hair and let my scar show, it has been covered long enough, hidden away behind those bangs reminding myself I am beautiful because I was made in the image of God.
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What About You?
Are you self-conscious?
What cultural norms have you allowed to define you?
What do you need to let go of today to see yourself through God’s eyes?
Recommended Resource
Mirror, Mirror… Am I Beautiful?
Does the mirror define who you are? Are you desperately striving to reach the world’s “perfect image” of outer beauty? Or have you given up trying, realizing you’ll never be “good enough?”
It’s time to look deeper, past the surface. It’s time to find your true beauty! In this book, Shelley Hitz and Heather Hart speak to today’s teen girls about real issues. They dig deep exploring how our choices can have long-lasting impacts.
