How to Overcome Bitterness & Love Again After Betrayal

Loving someone so blindly and trusting them full-hearted shatters you when you find out they’ve betrayed you.  

The doubt was always there, and people talked, but for some reason, I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted so badly to have this picture-perfect family and a picture-perfect marriage that I ignored what was right in front of me.  

I saw the text messages, the Facebook messages, the Instagram comments, and the pictures. Still, time and time again, I convinced myself that there was nothing physically going on until I saw it with my eyes.  

I cried like I never cried before in my life. I had never felt so hurt, so deeply hurt, down to my soul. Broken and felt shattered inside. I felt a physical pain in my stomach, and my chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe. The gasp for air was unbearable. I had a panic attack.  

I was overwhelmed with words running through my head, and I was trying to make sense of everything. It felt like my whole life was a lie. Like I was living a complete lie, this is a nightmare, but I couldn’t wake up because it was real.  

How to Overcome Bitterness & Love Again (My Story)

This was my life.

I prayed every day, multiple times a day. I asked God for guidance.  

Should I stay? Should I give up?  

Is it worth fighting for? What am I fighting for?  

He doesn’t love me, and he doesn’t care for me. He’s shown me with his actions, but why am I still holding on?  

I felt like I was a good wife, prayed for my marriage every day and prayed for my husband, but why wasn’t that enough? What did I do wrong to deserve this?  

After I decided this marriage was officially over, I remembered Matthew 19:8-9.  

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  

Matthew 19:8-9 NIV

I thought to myself, “He did commit sexual immorality, so I’m off the hook, right? “

Between more prayers, more tears, and more sleepless nights, I held on to Psalm 147:3 as God pulled me through the hurt

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  

Psalm 147:3 NIV

But it took years.  

God's promise to pull you through tearful, sleepless nights: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3) Click To Tweet
How to overcome bitterness with Jesus and learn to love again

How to Overcome Bitterness with Jesus

After being betrayed, you get into this bitterness state. You don’t think love is real, everyone lies, all those relationships you see on social media you feel are fake, but this is only thoughts of the hurt.  

You question yourself, are you worthy? Is there someone out there for you? Will they appreciate you?  

How can you trust someone again?  

In order to move on from this bitterness, from the hurt, from the betrayal, and be able to love again, you have to process the hurt. Once you’ve processed the hurt, then you release and let go to God.  

You cannot stay stuck on the hurt, or else you won’t be able to move on, and you won’t be able to trust if you remain stuck on the hurt you can block your blessings and end up hurting those around you.  

God helped me process and then release the hurt. After I released it, I had peace.  

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  

Philippians 4:7 NIV

This calming peace of mind and peace in my soul was nothing I had ever experienced before. And this peace comes from God alone.  

If you've been hurt, you can find healing and be at peace again… Click To Tweet

Learning to Loving Again

I then focused on myself, my daughter, and my relationship with God, and slowly the missing pieces of my life started coming together again. I found a new partner who is a God-fearing man; he loves me, respects me, and treats me like a queen.  

But this wouldn’t have been possible if I had stayed in that bitterness state and not let God work in my heart.  

Join the Conversation

Are you in a state of bitterness or hurt or know someone who is? Is there anything that you need to release to God and let Him work in your heart?  Or did you overcome bitterness in your life and have a success story you can share?

I would love to hear your stories! Join the conversation in the comments below. And if you know anyone who you may think can benefit from my story, please feel free to share it with them.

About the Author

Heidy Reynoso is a blogger, poet, and works as a Medical Billing and Coding specialist. She has a Master’s Degree in Healthcare Administration. Heidy has served in her church as an adult leader for the youth ministry, attended growth group/small groups. Heidy enjoys reading, writing, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, traveling and spending time with her family. 

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