Seasons of motherhood change… and it’s not always seamless. Thankfully, God offers grace for moms no matter the struggle. Jaime shares more in this post.

When I was a mom of little kids, I felt fairly confident.

Okay, so I’ve never been exactly confident; I’ve always struggled with a loud inner critic who shares opinions about just about everything I do. But I at least felt comfortable in the role because it involved meeting the needs in front of me. 

I could change diapers when they were dirty, or feed a hungry baby. Picking up toys, then even re-picking them up over and over as a busy toddler followed behind me tossing each one back into the middle of the floor with a gleeful laugh, no problem. I could choose outfits, pack preschool lunches, and wipe runny noses. Even repeatedly cleaning puke-soiled bedsheets during battles with stomach viruses didn’t throw me for too much of a loop. 

But gradually I started feeling unsettled in my parenting. At first, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Feelings of inadequacy started to show up more and more frequently, until one day it hit me: I was no longer a mom of little kids. 

From Worker Bee to Manager

Instead of meeting basic needs as they arose, my job had shifted to anticipating needs and training kids to have the skills and discipline to begin meeting their own needs. I had gone from Worker Bee to Manager in what felt like the blink of an eye, and I didn’t like it. 

I like being a Worker Bee. It’s my safe space. I’m good at doing what I’m told, or checking things off a list of needs in front of me. It makes me feel valuable and effective. Becoming a Manager comes with so many more wild cards, and it takes time and discipline and grit to put the work in to train people up, rather than just checking off boxes of completed tasks. 

My husband is a great manager, and while he struggled a little in our early years with the day-to-day of parenting littles, he was great at this new world of training up older kids. This made me feel even more inadequate and obsolete, as I saw him do effortlessly what seemed (and still seems) like some sort of sorcery. 

There came a time when I asked God why He made me a mom to my kids, why He hadn’t either made me better at managing or given them a stronger mom who was.

I love them so much, but there are times when I am afraid I have damaged them by not being better at training them up, whether it’s basic discipline, consistency with reading the Bible, or requiring them to do things for themselves rather than just stepping in and doing them myself. I’m concerned that my inability to transition from Worker Bee to Manager has taken a toll on their development and growth.

Finding Peace in Hebrews 13

But listen to what God reveals through Hebrews 13:20-21:

The Greek word used for “peace” in verse 20 is eirēnē, but one commentary says that when this Greek word is used, it usually refers back to a Hebrew word you might be more familiar with: shalom. 

Shalom doesn’t just mean a state of being calm or a lack of conflict. In fact, sometimes the process leading to shalom can (and often must)  include conflict and change. The peace the writer of Hebrews is referring to here involves restoration of things that are fractured, or bringing misaligned things into order.

Equipped by God

This God of peace is a healer, a redeemer, and as we see in verse 21, an equipper. He doesn’t leave us lacking anything we need for the execution of His will for us and the purposes He has called us to. 

My favorite part of the whole passage is the Greek word translated as “equip.” It is used in other places to describe the setting of a broken bone, the mending of fishing nets, and the restoration of something so it can function properly. 

This equipping God does is a deeply personal, intimate work. It’s not like handing me a new net to fish with when my broken one doesn’t work; that would imply there was no value to the original net. It involves the lovingly tedious process of sitting with me hour after hour, identifying the holes in my net, teaching me precisely the weight and type of rope needed to restore it and teaching me to tie the knot so it is tight enough not to fail but loose enough to be flexible and effective.

And guess what?

Much like the point of healing of a broken bone, the point of repair on a broken net is often stronger than it would have been otherwise. 

God’s Grace for Moms

Our God could have been cold and distant, but He chose a relationship with Him as the means of transformation, through the restoration of that relationship through Jesus and the resulting gift of the Holy Spirit. Because of this, I can rest in knowing that I am enough because God is enough. In knowing that His power is actually able to become manifest because of my weakness (see: mended net is stronger than the original). 

It doesn’t mean parenting older kids is going to come easily or naturally for me. It might look ugly at times, and might look radically different from other moms who are more inclined to managing and training. 

What it does mean?

I can stop wishing I were someone else, and accept that God has called me to be the parents of these three incredible kids, and where He has called me He is already equipping me – if I’ll just press into the relationship He has already given me access to. 

Related Post: 5 Lies I’ve Believed About Being a Mom

Join the Conversation

What about you? Would you consider yourself a Worker Bee or Manager? If you have kids, where do you struggle?

If you’re not a mom, what are some parts of how God created you that you struggle with? How can you reframe your perspective and see them as strengths?

Let us know in the comments!

Coming Soon

Mom Moments: 21 Candid Moments for Moms is a devotional book written with today’s Christian moms in mind. If you’ve ever felt like you’re alone in your struggle, we want you to know we see you. We’ve been there. From the heartaches and tears to celebrating the wins, God is with you every step of the way.