Candidly Christian

Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith.

Faith

Faith

When the Struggle is Real

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“I don’t need refreshment, I need a resurrection.”

My friend said that to me in January as we were sitting at the local Starbucks. That statement hit me like a ton of bricks, and I have been reflecting on that statement still months later. The truth is that if I am honest, there are times that I have felt like that. Times I wasn’t sure I had anything left to give. Times I felt like God was being silent. Times I wanted to quit, because I was unsure He had anything in front of me. Times of fear, and doubt. Times of the weight of unworthiness.

Several months back, I wrote Confessions of a Perpetual Quitter. Little did I know at the time, that as I began to write that post, I would face an intense battle of wanting to quit. In my defense, I had a 2-month-old, and I was running low on sleep, and high on emotions. But the struggle was real, and I was barely walking the fine line of solid ground, and falling off a cliff. In writing the post, I began to feel like a hypocrite. How could I write a post about following His lead, when I was about to run from what He had in front of me? This is as real as it gets.

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Hope For When You Feel Like Giving Up On Life

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I was ready to give up. My head hurts so bad. I started counting the cost. Not just the cost, but the worth.

I begged the hospital staff to let me go because my family needed me. But then I got home and my head hurt so bad I couldn’t get out of bed. I was useless. Sure, they loved me and were happy to see me, but I wasn’t needed. And it’s a good thing I wasn’t.

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3 Keys to Survival When You’re Running on Empty

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We need a lot of things in this life. That is not a secret. Let’s be honest. We have needs. Personally, I think women have more needs than men. LOL, but that is for another discussion.

However, not every need will be met. And because of that, we don’t always understand why. A lot of people pull on us as women to meet their needs and we get plain ole empty.  We are mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, wives, etc. and we get pulled on by all those people in our lives. Sometimes all at once. Or at least it feels that way.

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Hope For When You Feel Emotionally Alone

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Do you ever feel like you have no one to talk to? Like no one could possibly understand what you are going through or how you are feeling? That’s where I’ve been this week.

There are things going on that I simply can’t discuss on the internet. Not because I don’t want to be candid, trust me I do, but because it really isn’t my information to share. Yet the feelings it leaves me with are very real.

Have you ever been there?

Have you ever wanted more than anything to talk to someone who could understand where you are at, yet not known who that was?

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Servant-Level Faith

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Lately, I’ve felt God prompting me to discuss subjects that I’m not all that interested in addressing. These are topics that aren’t fun or glamorous. They’re not ones that you’re likely to see on a bumper sticker or a beautifully curated Instagram post. He’s been impressing upon me the responsibility I have to devote my life to humbly serving others.

I’m sure you understand my desire to talk about literally anything else.

But, because God keeps going there, I thought it would be great to have a candid conversation about what these words practically mean for us. 

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What Happens In The Light

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Recently I had to help with a really big project. Most of what I helped with had to do with painting, and cutting and stapling a mesh screen on painted frames that would be hung.

Measurements had to be exact, the mesh had to be put on the frames in a specific way, and the mesh also “shed” a lot. Oh and the painting… that required just as much care and detail.

Simultaneously, we are reading about the 10 commandments and the explanation of them as well. There are so many if-then situations connected to the commands. My head was spinning over all of the conditions based on circumstance.

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Life is Hard, But God is Still Good

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“Both our van and our stove broke down this weekend, but God is still good.
My head hurts, but God is still good.
I spent the day in the emergency room, but God is still good.
I can’t breathe, but God is still good.“

As I write this on Sunday, Heather Hart has been in the hospital with covid for eighteen days. It’s been a rough time, full of joyful ups and terrifying downs, especially for Heather, but also for everyone who knows and loves her.

We thought she was getting better; we thought she’d be home in a few days, but Saturday night, the doctors said she has bacterial pneumonia. Breathing continues to be increasingly difficult and painful.

We don’t know what lies ahead, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Heather since I found Candidly Christian in 2017 it’s this:

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Look Up

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He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

John 20:15-16 ESV

I remember one dark morning when I sat on the floor in our basement, surrounded by a pile of tissues again. I held my head in my hands, trying to catch my breath when the most unlikely of songs began playing in my head.

Look Up

It was Lauren Daigle singing “Look up child, eh hey.” I ignored her and blew my nose again to drown her out, but she just wouldn’t be quiet. It was then that I realized it was God speaking to me through music as He often does. So I lifted my head, looked up at the ceiling panels and whispered, “Jesus, help me.”

My favorite part of the Easter story is when Mary is too busy crying at the empty tomb to realize Jesus is standing right in front of her. Mary gets me. But the most incredible part is that a hot mess of a woman like me was the first to see the risen Lord. Jesus didn’t choose royalty or a calm Bible scholar to appear to first. He chose a woman who came running to find Him. 

What I’ve learned from Mary (and Lauren Daigle) is that Jesus is always with us. All we have to do is look up. 

All we have to do is look up.
All we have to do is look up… Click To Tweet

Jesus, thank you for loving me just where I am. Thank you for being there for me at any hour, whether I’m seeking you or ignoring you. Please help me remember to always keep my eyes on You, especially when all I want to do is hang my head. In Your Holy name I pray, Amen.

Waiting on God

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Do you ever have one of those days where you need to lay it all out with God?

I was filled to the brim with frustration, sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, and a whole other ton of emotions. I was like a dam ready to burst, and anything in my way was about to get destroyed. I threw my hands up in the air to yell at God for my displeasure about the situation. All God said to me was, “I hear you.”

I stopped and said out loud, “You hear me?”   

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Do You Fear God?

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I didn’t realize how much “fear of God” there is in the world. And I don’t mean “the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge” type of fear. No, I’m talking about being afraid of God. The type of fear doesn’t lead to knowledge. When you fear God in a way that makes you run away from Him, not to Him.

I remember being scared of God.

I grew up in the church, I went through confirmation class at the age of 13, got confirmed, and attended church camp. I did not want to go to church camp. I thought it was going to be boring, and I definitely didn’t want to spend all day reading the Bible for a week.

I knew about Jesus. I probably passed confirmation class with flying colors, and that was enough for me.

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